30 Days of being just friends with my husband: Days 4 and 5

fullfillmentThese have been some very emotionally draining days. We’ve both experienced feelings that we didn’t want to experience. Hatred and self loathing to name some.

We both have felt extremely let down by our family. We both feel like black sheep. We both feel like our families could give a shit about us. We both feel used and abused.

This has affected us. It has affected our entire being. It has affected our relationships with others as well as with each other. It’s hard to trust someone not to break your heart when your entire life your family has been crushing it and making you smaller and smaller. We feel like we barely exist as people to them anymore.

We feel like pawns in their world. They only want to be around us when they need something. It really hurts our feelings too. We’re unsure if they care.

Our relationship with each other may have its troubles, but at the end of the day we are the ones who pick up the pieces for each other (no one else). We are the ones we can truly trust. We have been sorely let down by those who should’ve loved us the most.

I love him and I hate seeing him deal with stupid shit his family puts him through. He was there through a lot of the stupid shit my family put me through. Being there means a lot. Being there for someone without them even asking…being there for the right reasons that’s what matters.

So, yes it is hard to have a relationship with nothing to go on. Both of our parents have horrible relationships with each other. Because of this we must make our own path and travel it together. In the end what do we have if we don’t have each other??

If you want to know what happens next you have to continue reading…

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